Blessings, Blessings!

As many of you already know, Derek and I found out recently that we are going to be having another baby! I had my first sonogram a week ago from today, and the doctor confirmed baby's heartbeat and said everything looks great. My due date is December 12th, so Jacob and his little sibling will be just over 2 years apart!

This came as quite a surprise to us. We were talking about holding off on trying for a baby for when Jacob turned 2. We really weren't expecting this to happen so soon, but we are very happy.

To be completely honest, though, I feel very convicted of my response to this pregnancy. Let me explain. With Jacob, we had tried for 2 grueling years to have a baby, we had 2 miscarriages during the process, tried fertility meds, and looked strongly into adoption (to the point of getting ready to mail off the application when we found out we were pregnant). So when we did finally get pregnant with Jacob, I was absolutely elated! I loved every minute of the pregnancy. I welcomed the morning sickness and every twinge and discomfort. I was so happy to experience it and I knew that God had answered our prayers.

With this pregnancy, however, I feel like I have shown no joy over it. I feel so sick all the time, and let me tell you I am not overjoyed about it! I think about the baby and pray for him or her daily, but I feel like I don't spend even half the time thinking about it like I did with Jacob. Instead I grumble and complain about not feeling well and being so tired all the time.

I guess what has convicted me is this:

Do we only truly show gratitude to God for the prayers He answers? To the gifts He blesses us with that have been prayed for day after day, hour after hour?

Should we not be equally as thankful for the gifts He chooses to bless us with, even if we haven't put in the long hours of prayer for that specific thing?

I don't want to mislead anybody. I am overjoyed about this baby. The Lord knows I want a whole house full of children (well, not exactly. Maybe just 4)! But I do want to appreciate every single aspect of this pregnancy like I did with Jacob. I need to see it how James says it in James 1:2 - "Count it all joy when you face trials of many kinds". This isn't really a trial so to speak, but it is a trial to put on a smile when I'm not feeling well. And I need to see this as what it truly is - a blessing beyond more than we could have ever asked or imagined.

I am so thankful that we didn't have to go through the heartache of conceiving that we did before. Our Lord is so faithful, and I will make every effort to praise Him even when I'm puking! I can't wait to meet this little one.